the vital art of effective communication

[jujur14]

Many suffer from not being able to communicate effectively with others, whether they're family members, friends and work colleagues. This is especially challenging when there is long standing issues between the parties concerned and most often, it's about hurt ego and many unwilling to back down. From the CLT perspective, how does one go about overcoming this if one is not able to talk openly with the other party?

[jujur14]

just had an insight on this topic yesterday during a discussion. It is not the choice of words (though it would help considerably) and tone of voice when speaking but more importantly, are we speaking from our heart or from our minds that will determine the outcome of any encounter. In the CLT teachings, 3 P's: truth, love and selflessness are always emphasized. When we understand that most of our 'issues' stem from the ego apparently being hurt either through words, actions or even thoughts, we react and generally, unable to respond since our minds and emotions are already disturbed. A very good example that most can relate to would be a couple. Initially, during courtship, both are on the best behaviour, sweet words flow from the lips, both would try their best to do things for the other without considering whether it's fair or just. However, after marriage, especially when things don't work out either financially or within the relationship, 'fairness' pops up very frequently and both will start drawing up their respective list of what the other half has/not done, has not lived up to his/her expectations. More hurtful remarks spew out from the once loving lips and create a downward spiral/vortex that brings the whole family (including children) down.

But, with unconditional love and being selfless, the topic of 'fairness' doesn't arise. In a couple relationship, the husband has his strengths and weaknesses and the wife, has hers. What the husband lacks, the wife may be able to provide and vice versa. Together, this couple form a team that is willing to face whatever issues life throws at them. They support each other and instead of incriminating one another, they encourage each other and overcome the problems together. When love and selflessness come to the fore, ego is pushed aside. Naturally, the right choice of words and actions will flow. It doesn't matter who forgives who first but what's important is that one of the couple takes the step to mend the relationship and plug the holes cause by arguments and quarrels, tearing at the very fabric of a harmonious family. This offers a ray of hope at the end of the tunnel. Things will also fall in place once this happens.

[Justion]

Through the weeks, I also learned that when we communicate, our frequencies and vibratory fields merge. Sharing this similar frequency, we're able to engage in the exchange of information between one another. I guess it is also in this principle that when both lack sufficient minerals, the communication process could get impaired - intruded by the affected ego and other deficiencies in play.

And you're right, I believe the practice and application of 3Ps does help significantly in reducing negative vibrations in the exchange process.

In my experience, at most times, a genuine smile derived from the loving energies of the heart, can create solid first impressions in communication and diffuse potential misunderstandings from the dogmatic ego. =)